AWKWARD
by LightningRivera
Summary: Join Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Thor and the Hulk as they live their crazy every day lives at the Tower...and beyond. Different timelines.
1. Encounter with a Creepy Mascot

Steve sat on the couch awkwardly, looking the other way whenever someone approached him. He wasn't normally this rude or shy, but he was sitting in the midst of a very happening Tony Stark Party (Tony said it was good for bonding) and he felt small compared to the large crowd and the people that kept leaning on him -for space-Steve guessed, though he wasn't quite sure about that after a grinning lady decided to start crumping in front of him.

His friends were having fun. Clint and Natasha were talking and laughing with some thugs and a few ninja-looking ladies who looked like they were going to bust out some knives and attack the next person who purchased a drink at the vending machine. Bruce was hanging out at the food table, eating most of the brownies (Steve figured it was for stress management), while Thor was nowhere to be found.

After a few entertaining minutes of watching Bruce stuff a big piece of brownie into his mouth -and watching him spit it at a passing lady- Thor, after experimenting with the toaster and watching the bread pop up ("It's like magic!") joined the empty couch.

"Hello Star Man. Why do you sit in the gloom while your friends stand in merriment?"

"I'm not comfortable with this environment," Steve gestured to the wild girls and the dancing Lion Mascot (Steve didn't get who that guy was. He kept appearing at _every_ Tony Stark Party.)Thor started up a friendly conversation:

"Have you tried the colourful worms in the shiny bowl? Mr Banner asked me to try them, he said they were scrumptious. I would have to agree! It is delicious indeed, very much like spring in the morning with sunlight shining in. Now if you would excuse me, I have to get some more." Thor got up from the comfortable sofa and headed towards the gummy-infested table.

As you can see, they had a very enjoyable time bonding.

Steve sighed and decided to head to the cake section. There were plenty of cakes, ranging from chocolate to some weird-looking pineapple thing with a figure sitting on top, wearing red and blue stars and stripes-wait, was that supposed to be _him_? Surprised, Steve leaned against the table to stare at it. The mini Captain America was smiling in a very creepy way, holding up his hand as if he was trying to high-five someone or trying to shoo away some pesky pigeons. A badly-iced shield was held in his arm, complete with the horrible caption that read 'Captain Rox Hehe '

It looked like a downgraded version of him. Or maybe that was how he looked like whenever he wore his uniform.

"Hey!" a high-pitched voice called out. It was the Lion Mascot, half-dancing, half-walking; heading in Steve's direction.

_Oh gosh._ Act natural, he told himself. He stuffed a piece of chocolate cake into his mouth.

"Hello!" since the guy's head was covered with a smiling lion's head, his voice came out muffled, like he was inhaling a piece of cloth. Steve waved at him, choking on his cake. "Hi," he managed.

"Are you alright?" the Lion Mascot asked, surprised. Well, Steve _supposed_ he was surprised, since lions don't have many expressions. "I'm fine," Steve answered, feeling embarrassed.

The Lion Mascot stared at him for a second, looking at the Captain America cake. He paused. "OHMYGOSH!" The Lion exclaimed. "You're Captain America!"

"Uh…yeah." Steve held out his hand for the Lion to shake. Shakily, he grabbed it.

The Lion shrieked again. "I touched his hand! Oh my gosh, today's the best day of my life! And you choked! Hah! Take that, you wimp!" he called out at a dancing lady. "I made Captain America choke!"

Feeling extra creeped out for the hundredth time that day, Steve glanced around the room for an escape plan. He couldn't run off to Thor, since he was sitting at a corner eating gummy bears and looking so contented Steve couldn't bother him. Tony was in who-knows-where while Clint and Natasha were still chatting with their ninja friends. But running away from a talking person was rude, and he was Captain America, which would make it even more rude.

"Hahaha," Steve laughed. "That's so funny. Now I'd have to go, since it's already late and-"

The Lion squealed again and pushed a sleeve up. "Could I have your autograph?"

"Um…okay." Steve hastily produced a pen and signed the guy's arm. "What's your name?"

"Steve," he replied. "I was named after you!" Steve Rogers smiled. "Take care, Steve."

The Lion Mascot/Steve took out a camera. "Could I have your picture as well?"

"Um, sure!" He stood next to Steve, who wrapped an arm around him, standing a little too close for comfort. "Cheese!" he snapped about five pictures; each time striking a different pose while Rogers remained neutral. After some time, a crazy-looking lady whisked The Lion away.

And Steve was alone again.

With the girls.

And Natasha.

Out of nowhere she popped out, laughed; and pulled him into the dance floor.

"You fine, Cap?"

"This place is so loud!" She laughed again, and he laughed along too.

And together the danced through the night.


	2. Field Trip to the Mall Part 1

If you are trying to reach the Avengers in any way, and you can't; well, then I should tell you why. They are currently shopping at a mall downtown in their everyday clothes, just hanging out and you know_, bonding._ Their phones are on silent mode (well, Tony's phone is…most of the others haven't even figured out how to use the TV), since they want to pay more attention to the environment around them.

In case you were wondering, their plans to hit the mall started the day before when they noticed Steve's and Bruce's outdated clothes (Thor's clothes as well, but that's an understatement). Tony came up with a wonderful idea to head to the mall and 'teach the Gramps some ways to loosen up since he's only 95 going 96,' earning an 'I'm only 24!'.

So now here they were at a Ralph Lauren store, staring at a rack of polo shirts. Tony sighed, staring at Steve who was staring at the rack. "Are we done, yet?"

Steve looked at him, "Should I choose the narrow stripes or the wide stripes?" he asked, holding out the two.

"Don't you have enough stripes, Mr Star Spangled Man?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "You asked me to get a different set of clothes, and I'm trying. So help me out."

"I said different from your Grandpa closet. This is no different," Stark replied." No offense!" he called out to one of the workers at the store.

"I think this is rather fine," announced Thor, holding out a brave colour-clashing 'suit' that he had pieced together. "I don't think it can fit me, big guy," Steve said, trying to be nice.

"Hey guys," called Natasha, "check this out." She held out a blue and red striped shirt with a matching cap. "Very Captain America right?"

"Oh my gosh," Tony said. "Remind me never to shop with you guys. Where's Bruce?"

Bruce was at an XL rack, trying to pick the right colour. "I'm sure you're not that big, Banner." Bruce stared at them. "I'm just trying to find a shirt large enough to stay on me whenever the Other Guy comes out." And he continued to search for his impossible wish.

"Come on," Tony announced. "Let's get to another store. "

They headed towards the crowded areas of the mall with Thor ooing and aahing over the electrical stores and movie theatres and Steve just staring at everything with wide eyes. 'It's not so bad," Steve lied. "It's a little like Brooklyn." Natasha gave him a sad smile and walked with him to the escalator while the others followed behind with Tony talking about the latest tech.

A group of teenage girls were behind them, texting on their phones. Steve sighed. "I'll never get it," he said. "Getting used to the people and their weird attitudes these days. Look at them," he pointed at the girls; "They're just looking at a screen. Whatever happened to verbal contact? Why don't they chat like normal people?"

Natasha shrugged, "Everyone's like that. I don't get it either. I'd guess the 1940s were more believable."

"Tell me about it," Steve rolled his eyes.

Natasha smiled and put a hand on his broad shoulder. "I guess we all have a lot to learn."

"I think you get along fine in this world."

"Was that an insult, Captain Rogers? "

"Only if you think so."

Just then, the teenagers noticed Steve.

I know, I know, they could have noticed him a long while ago…but they were a bit too busy texting the latest gossip on their phones that they didn't notice the hunk until they averted their eyes from their techno screens and faced the hot dude in front of them. "Oh. My. Gosh." They said at the same time. "He looks like Captain America… from the back," whispered one of the girls excitedly.

Natasha, hearing all of this hushed whispers and excited suggestions turned around.

"Aren't you the Black Widow?" another one of the girls asked, grinning like a madwoman.

"I am," agreed Natasha.

"That means…CAPTAIN AMERICA!" they realized, placing their perfectly manicured hands to their mouths. Steve turned around, facing the awe-struck girls. "Hi."

"He is _so_ hot," whispered one of the girls a bit too loudly. Steve blushed and Tony, Thor and Bruce turned around. "Fangirls," muttered Tony, "just what we needed." Clint laughed quietly at the teenagers' expressions. "The…Avengers! All in one place! Oh my gosh! I am going to die."

"Oh, dear. Don't do that," said Steve.

"Could I have your autograph?" asked a blonde shyly. "I have your face on my walls and on my…cupboard door. I also own the Captain America cup, shirt and pants," she giggled and leaned in closer, "its limited edition."

"Looks like you have a super fan," winked Tony.

The blonde unbuttoned her long-sleeved shirt. " Ma'am!" exclaimed Steve and quickly looked away. Clint and Natasha smirked. The girl looked surprised. "Oh, no. I wouldn't strip on an escalator. That's so unladylike. I'm wearing a layer underneath."

"Is that normal?" whispered Bruce to Tony. Tony shrugged in reply.

Steve hastily signed the girl's 'The Star Spangled Man with a Plan' shirt (he signed the side of course…not the chest), and sent her a polite smile. "Could I take a picture?" asked a pretty brunette. "Um…sure," replied Steve. She leaned closer so that her face was resting on his shoulder. "Thanks!"

Soon, everyone on the escalator noticed the party of Avengers on the escalator and started asking for autographs or catcalling at Natasha, which earned them glares in return. Plenty of girls-or women- bombarded the men, getting occasional autographs or polite nods.

Everything was fine, embarrassing, but okay…until someone asked an innocent question.

"Are Captain America and the Black Widow together?"

Clint raised his eyebrows. "Are you?"

Were they?

"No," Steve and Natasha said a bit too quickly.

"Really..?" Tony asked.

And they tried to remain incognito for the rest of their bonding session.


End file.
